Christmas Wishes

Where I am, some flurries are predicted for Monday. Perhaps enough will fall and I shall be able to carry out a cliché scene of meandering down a snow-crest path, days before the new calendar year, reminiscent of the days left behind in the snow prints. Perhaps it is for the better that I cannot perform this, because it is definitely offensively cliché. But it would be an utter lie to say that this year was not an influential one. And I like it that way. And so this is something I would like for Christmas, to be as pleased about the years to come as I am with this one.

Of the foremost focus at this juncture, the major reset button that took me out of the machine, away from the grinding stone, and away from the path with I though I would most certainly tread. Yes, definitely emotionally traumatic at the time (shall touch on it below), and I am wholly blessed to receive the support from my parents that I did. I am somewhere between surprised and comforted, in the sense that I am not alone, that I know more than zero friends who are also experiencing a time of quarter-life crisis and are now shaken from a clear view of what their future steps shall be. Now that I have a tentative view of where I am going next, I can confidently say to such friends it gets better, though I feel a bit powerless that I have nothing more to offer besides these words, reassuring hugs, and my time with them. This issue still lingers only just because I am still in the process of getting on the rails towards my new destination. I yearn to receive an acceptance letter or job offer, but know full well that it can easily by weeks or months until I shall hear word. Since I know this shall be on the other side of the New Year, I am making merry for now. And so this is something I would like for Christmas, an auspicious fortune as it pertains to reversing my recent derailment, since I feel this shall be shortly followed by additional merriment.

And I am glad to have made merry with some special old friends in the recent past. In the past half year, I have easily traveled more miles in the name of visiting friends than I have in the past half decade. Maybe I am not the best social butterfly there ever was, but with the fresh time re-connecting with old companions, I intensely desire to hold my dear connections close and closer still, with the recent reminder of how easy it is to have them slip away through poor time balance or simple distance. Exempli gratia, there are those with whom I only have had the chance to reconnect by phone, with weeks to months between communications. And so this is something I would like for Christmas, to foster a deeper closeness, one to last ad infinitum, with those with whom I can share joys and sorrows, since it is through my time with them that I find myself.

The reason why the reset button hurt was because it cut into my identity. While I know that the changes to my path shall persist, I still ache to have a firm grasp on my new identity, which is an interesting thorn in my side since I have never felt it prior to this year. Much as we have trouble remembering to write the New Year in the date on documents, I will have to remember that many of my recent changes will have no longer occurred "at the turn of the year." On one hand, change can be good. For example, against my demure nature, a pinch of moxie has brought me the closeness of a lass with whom I expect share many joys. Historically though, I was always one to prefer stability. And so this is something I would like for Christmas, for the volatility in my life to fade as I get moving along my new path, so I can once again get a clear view of who I am to be.

I salute Santa for handling all these Christmas wishes, because I have no idea how to wrap gifts so existentially shaped. I mean, where does one find heptagon shaped wrapping paper anyway, especially ones that aren't colored too blue! Not only that, there are only two more hours to Christmas (in my time zone). So perhaps these Christmas wishes shall double as my New Year's Resolutions.

To finish, I wish upon you a happy Christmas. For if I cannot receive my other wishes this season, I would want this. And I'd hope such contentedness would keep with you until our paths shall cross again.

Until then, cheers.

Song of the Post: Loud Pipes by Ratatat